The First Step to Embracing and Enjoying Motherhood
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The most incredible transformation a woman goes through is that from maiden to mother. It breaks you and rebuilds you in the most beautiful way. You undergo changes both physically and mentally that reconstruct you into a nurturing and loving mother.
I have found that it is way easier to embrace this change. You are no longer the woman you were before becoming a mom and that’s not a bad thing. I see so many women resist this change and try to get back to the old them.
I believe this is largely due to the way society portrays motherhood. For some reason there’s this idea that your life is over when you become a mom and children are such a huge burden.
How do you start to embrace motherhood?
Change your mindset
One of the biggest things you can do to enjoy and embrace motherhood is to change your mindset. If you believe that your life will be over when you become a mom, then that’s how you’re going to feel when you become one. Your thoughts are powerful. So often what you think becomes your reality.
You’re probably wondering how you’re supposed to change your mindset. It can be done and here are some tips:
1. Who you associate with matters.
If you are hanging out with people who talk negatively about motherhood then you will keep thinking the same as them. Find other moms who speak positively about their life. Of course you’re not going to find someone who never complains, but that’s not the point. Motherhood can be tough and you should find women who you can talk to about the ups and downs. But we don’t want to surround ourselves with women who only speak about the negatives.
2. Shift the way YOU talk about being a mom and your experiences with your kids.
This one takes practice. It’s so easy to make a joke of the negative or not so fun moments of motherhood but by doing this we’re perpetuating the idea that being a mom is undesirable. I found it better to just not say these things. For example, I was talking to my friend about how my daughter still sleeps in the same room as us, and I wanted to make a joke about it because this seems like a negative thing most people wouldn’t want to have, but I just didn’t say the joke. By not making the joke I am helping to rewire my brain’s thoughts about motherhood.
3. Stop thinking you can't do something because you have kids.
Of course this doesn’t work for every scenario but for the most part you can still do the things you enjoy with your kids around. It might look a little different but it’s definitely possible. I used to be stuck on this idea that I couldn’t go to the gym because I have a baby so then I couldn’t workout and then I would be so frustrated. But I can still workout- at home. It looks a little different than what I’m used to and I get interrupted sometimes but I’m moving my body and that’s all I really wanted. I can still read, bake cookies, crochet, etc. I can still do all of these things that I enjoyed before having my daughter. Her mere existence isn’t what’s preventing me from enjoying the things I like to do. The thought that “I can’t do this because I have to take care of my child” is what’s holding you back from doing these things.
4. Change how you view “me time."
Being alone isn’t a necessity. I always thought I needed some “me time” away from my daughter in order to refresh and feel like me. But I learned that I don’t. I can still get in some ‘me time’ with my daughter around. Again, this is going to look a little different than it did before having her but let me tell you that making the hot tea and sitting on the couch -although it may not be in silence like before – is so much better than just wishing you could have this moment every day when it’s not possible to have regularly. I spent months wishing for some alone time and because of my husband’s work schedule I never got it. It’s very freeing to not be wishing for this and instead enjoying a moment that I used to get pre baby but now have it with my baby. So go put that face mask on, sit in the sun or whatever thing brings you joy. You may not get to do it for an unlimited amount of time like you were used to but a few minutes can still be the refreshing reset you needed.
Final thoughts
Changing your mindset is the first step to loving motherhood. Our thoughts on motherhood get in the way of enjoying it, so when we change those thoughts we are able to embrace it instead.
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I created Natural and Empowered Birth because I want to help women have a positive birth experience.
I’ve always been fascinated by birth and love hearing other mama’s birth stories. Learning about how women can have a beautiful and empowering birth set me on a path to have one myself and now I want to help women have a great birthing experience too.
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